Peanut's Birthday

On the auspicious day of Peanut's birthday, the gang celebrated this milestone with vim and vigour. Peanut, Butter and Jelly were dignified by the presence of Mayonnaise, who claimed that this is her sobriquet due to the fact that she spreads easily.

The inspiring decor and dulcet ambient sounds of the Paramount, combined with the superb stench of 'food' emanating from the premises of Chef Wanka and newcomer Vee Dee (specialising in crabs), made for a complete sensory experience. Peanut was eating like a goose being force-fed with a gavage, Butter had a 3 day old wrap with a piece of fruit, whilst Jelly and Margarine settled for stale air and the exquisite company. Jelly remarked 'what a lovely pear' whilst pointing to Butter's fruit, amongst much mirth and frivolity.

Whether due to it being his birthday or perhaps other 'semenly' innocent factors, Peanut took one mouthful too many of soft drink and shot his bolt several times throughout the 1 course degustation. Perhaps this was due to the threat of the hi-jinks that Butter, Jelly and Margarine had in store for him as a birthday treat. The rope and mask in Jelly's carrybag, and regular invoking of Feargal  Sharkey's name, was simultaneously whetting and wetting Peanut's appetite for mis-adventure.

Butter had a peculiar and highly irregular fascination in the state of Peanut's tie. It was just too tight - something which Peanut had never been accused of before. Jelly and Mayonnaise had to physically restrain Butter from launching himself across the table and emasculating Peanut, and Butter thereafter settled for fiddling with his own big black one.

The lunch concluded with all wearing shit-eating grins and exiting the building via the glamorous staircase, which Jelly noted had been hand-crafted by the finest Moroccan artisans using botticino marble and used on the set of the Titanic movie. After ejaculating from the building, the gang escorted Butter to the bank nearby, where he promptly deposited his usual $5K weekly sum into Peanut's account in exchange for his silence of several 'indiscretions' which had occurred over the past 5 years.