Like the famous Phil Collins song 'Another Day in Paramount', the gang of four – Peanut, Butter, Jelly and Mayonnaise met once more at the big P Food Court to have lunch, and take in the vibrant and colourful Paramount ambience. Peanut enjoyed a great foam cup of steamed rice, mixed vegetables and chicken (as well as a special, sticky dim sim treat) from the Hokkaido Japanese food eatery. In response to Butter’s query about how his food was, Peanut replied, “Mediocre” to which Butter quipped, “Could’ve been worse.” And we all laughed as one. Jelly seemed to be enjoying his roll and Butter was also enjoying his sensible salad-based nourishment from his plastic container. Both these items were purchased from non-Paramount food outlets (Jelly's was actually bought from home - Ed.) in clear contravention of the Paramount chaps rules of engagement. They will both be receiving official warnings in the mail in due course.
To add insult to chiko roll, Mayo didn’t bring anything, just herself, and kept going on about how she was missing out on the warm sun and blue skies. To which Peanut responded, “Who needs fresh air, when you can sit in comfort, feeding your chops and sucking in the rich, succulent Paramount vapours and flavours.” Peanut further espoused on how great it would be if all the food spots in the P had robot instead of human staff, including Chef Lanka. “Chef Lanka with robots would be twice as good,” exclaimed Jelly excitedly. And we all agreed as one.
At that point in the conversation, Butter looked up and noticed that the P had residential units available upstairs. “Wow, you can live in the cunt!” he enthused. He also wondered further whether one could book rooms by the hour which he said would suit his biped lifestyle handsomely. We all speculated on how great it would be to live and eat seamlessly within the confines of this fine and mighty Food Court. Peanut said that he knew the caretaker and could arrange the opening of and access to many secret places and orifices.
There was general unenthusiastic chatter about work Xmas functions. Jelly noted that his Xmas function was at a bowling club where everyone would be taking their shoes off and going barefoot. “How absolutely licky!” I said in my best Famous Five voice. Jelly and Mayonnaise finished up by explaining the premise behind The Human Centipede film to Butter who was most impressed. Mayonnaise let him know that there was The Human Centipede 2 to watch as well. Then we felt it was appropriate for us all to sling our hooks and head back to our dreary pods for the afternoon. Parting was such sweet sorrow. Vale Debbie Peters and her Little Miss Giggles cup.
Outstanding Peanut.
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